Baby No. 4

Well, I won't be surprised if your jaw dropped.  I'm actually a little hesitant to even reveal this news because  I know what you are thinking, I thought you were done!  We have been very open about being 'done' having kids.  Like done done.  As in got rid of ALL the baby stuff, sold all the clothes, dust my hands off with all this baby stuff and I'm not looking back done.  As soon as I potty train Riley I'm done with the baby phase and I'm home free from there.  I'm quite content with my life just the way it is.  I like putting the kids to bed at 7:30 and not seeing them again till morning.  I like not having to tote anyone around when we go out.  I like that I can communicate with my children and not have to wonder what it is they want.  I like wearing a regular bra and not the kind with snaps and flaps.  I like that the kids can feed themselves.  I like not smelling like sour milk.  I like sending the kids outside to play while I stay inside and make dinner.  I like not having a baby.

So why drastically change my life as I know it?  We could have been done.  The kids won't care, they don't know any different.  We'd probably be fine too.  We've got enough kids to keep us busy.  This is why it took me months to finally make the decision.  That's right, I decided.  And Brian was surprisingly on board.  There may have been a small part of me that wanted him to say no.  Or to tell me that I was crazy.  But he didn't.  He was immediately excited and there where times when I thought he was the crazy one.  I mean coming from a guy who came close to getting snipped.  TMI?

So despite what you may have initially thought, the pregnancy came as no surprise.  The only surprise was that on a Tuesday night I was awake at 3am and it's all I could think about.  I didn't want to be thinking about this.  I was done, we were done!  I kept thinking, Aiden needs a brother.  Wouldn't it be so much easier on the girls if he had a brother?  There needs to be another boy around here for him to duke it out with, someone who will like to tumble around with him.  When he wants to be aggressive the girls just run and scream.  Given the age gap it'll take a few years, but in the end he'll have someone to do brother stuff with when he's older.  Plus, it'll even things up.  I don't want Riley to be the third wheel her whole life.  This way Riley will have a little person to hang out with while Ella and Aiden are in school.  That's just next year.  Besides, I don't know how to be with just one kid.  It's weird.  I realize how much I lean on the kids to take care of each other and entertain one another.  Once it's just me and Riley she might realize how boring I am.  I thought they weren't supposed to figure that out until they were teenagers.  I also don't want to be empty nesting when I'm 30.  Staying at home with the kids was what I signed up for.  This is my job.  If there are no kids here, what am I gonna do?  At least I can stretch it out a few more years with having another baby around.

So here's my plan, because things always go according to plan, right?.  Have a boy (a brother for Aiden...Hey, when all else fails, just make a person, it'll solve all your problems!  Just kidding.)  Try not to be disappointed if it's a girl, this is kind of a gamble.  Works out well for Riley either way.  Endure the first few years until I go back to being content with my life.  There is a light at the end of this baby tunnel, the tunnel just got a little longer, that's all.  Stop at 4.  No matter what.  Stop at 4.  I'm done!  Really done this time!