I saw a lady in the grocery store on Saturday and she had four kids trailing behind her. I thought to myself, that's a lot of kids, then backed that thought up with, Hey, hang on a sec, that's me! Filter, party of six. What??? This is all so surreal, and yet normal at the same time.
The kids have been great. It's like nothing has changed except now there's a baby around. I think that Aiden has been the most excited though. Surprising. He genuinely adores and loves her. He has also nicknamed me 'The Milk Machine'. It's got a nice little ring to it, don't you think? If you want to traumatize your children here's 2 ways to do it: Step 1-Let them watch you pump Step 2-Try to explain. This whole baby process is probably really confusing for them. Good thing I've made it nice and clear.
Baby 101 (as understood by Aiden)
Where do babies come from?
Mommy gobbled her up and swallowed her.
How do babies get out?
Here, watch this video and it'll all make sense...Greenville Zoo's Baby Kiko
Why is mommy's belly a little sore?
Because Maddex kept doing gymnastics in my belly. You know how your muscles get tired from doing gymnastics? It's like that.
How does the milk come out?
Because I'm like a cow. And a robot. I'm RoboCow.
Yep, nice and clear. Hopefully he's young enough to
I'm confident in saying that we're definitely done here. I won't change my mind. So I bid my pregnant self adieu. You were good to me, easy even, but I will not miss you. Don't take it personally, it was you, not me.