Where Did I Go Wrong?

So it’s official. I finally hit that stage in my parenting. I’m talking about the stage where you start asking yourself “Where did I go wrong?” I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with this until the kids were teenagers! I was wrong. Yesterday afternoon was the first time that I have actually had to deal with all three kids crying at the same time. Amazing, right? I can’t believe I’ve been able to go that long!

Well, here’s the inside scoop to the situation I was in, I should have seen this bout of crying coming. Riley had a fever all day, so naturally she was crabby and clingy. Ella is crabby if she gets woken up from her precious sleep…where as, when Aiden wakes up he is happy and ready to play. On the other hand, Aiden is also 2. So he is constantly looking for opportunities to dominate and aggravate his sister. So, as the story goes, it had been one of those days for Ella. She had taken longer to go to sleep at nap time, so I knew I was going to have to wake her up later. I never let any of the kids sleep past 4, and it was getting to be about that time. Riley had woken up at 3:30 and Aiden just shortly after. The three of us went in to wake up Ella. She proceeded with the usual moans and groans. “You want us to leave you alone?” I asked her. She said she did. So we left. I guess she didn’t realize that we would actually leave, so she started up with the fake whimpering cry…which I can’t stand by the way. I’ve taken the route of ignoring this behavior, which she should know by now. So I continued to the living room with Riley in hand and Aiden trailing behind me. He wanted to watch Finding Nemo, which slowly lured Ella into the living room. So at this point everyone was good, so to speak. No crying.

So I took this opportunity to go to the bathroom…we have an open door policy at our house, through no choice of my own. I mean my options are either lock the door and have them beat it down or just leave the door open and let them wander in and out. They seem threatened when I’m behind a closed door. Like now they’re all alone and I’ve vanished or something. So of course, when they realized where I was headed, they decided to come too. With Ella still cranky and on edge about being woken up and Aiden on his 2 year old power trip, this bathroom break didn’t end well. Aiden had come in the bathroom first, and when he saw Ella coming he quickly tried to shut the door and lock her out. Her being slightly stronger than him, fought to keep the door open. Unfortunately though, he fights back…which resulted in her getting whacked in the head with the door knob. So now she’s crying. Then Aiden starts to cry because Ella’s crying and because she won. She made it through the door. OK, I don’t mind having them in there with me, but is it too much to ask to be able to pee in peace? In the mean time Riley was crying too, just for the simple fact that I wasn’t holding her. Like I said, she’s clingy when she’s sick. So there you have it…3 squalling kids, 3 runny noses, 6 red watery eyes and 1 frazzled mother desperately wanting to eat chocolate.

You see, that’s how I deal with this kind of thing. Whenever the kids are fighting or I’m feeling overwhelmed I eat a Dove, or two. The cliche of women and chocolate didn’t just come out of nowhere! Unfortunately, in light of recent budget cuts in our home, we are fresh out of chocolate. Then I remembered this little key chain Brian bought me a few weeks ago. I’m not advertising or anything, but it’s $1.00 for a Wendy’s frosty key chain, and with it you can get a free JR Frosty with each visit. “Who wants to go get ice cream?” was my response to the kids and all of their crying. This seemed to do the trick. They sucked up their tears. Seems like a pretty good deal right? No crying=ice cream. I’m not gonna lie, the ice cream was more for me, not them. I need to have chocolate running through my veins in order to keep my sanity. Is this what addiction feels like?

And then it happened. Ella might as well have hit me with a brick. “Can I go outside and play?” ‘WHAT??? You mean you don’t want ice cream?’ “No, thanks. I just want to go outside.” ‘Wait a minute, let me get this straight. You want to go outside and NO ice cream?’ “Yes.” ‘Aiden, do you want to go outside and no ice cream?’ “Yes.” This is the part where I started to question my parenting. Where did I gone wrong? My kids are supposed to stuff their emotions with food, not exercise! I mean what kind of person doesn’t want to be an emotional eater? I didn’t raise them this way. I can’t believe I let this happen! Kids these days…

Well, needless to say, I didn’t get my ice cream or my chocolate. I set the pool up for the kids and pushed Riley in the swing. Aside from the mosquito bites and the heat, everybody was happy the rest of the day. This whole thing was actually important to Ella too.  In her prayers before bedtime she said "Thank you for playing outside and not eating ice cream."  It made me smile. 

As much as it pains me to say this, I was actually able to manage my emotions without the chocolate. Now if only there was a way to control these jitters I’ve been having.